Sometimes when you teach, you have to have a sense of humor. Okay, most of the time you do, or else you would probably go insane.
Today was a very funny day. Now, I might have had an extremely rough day if I had decided to be like those book burners that get rid of books just because there is an "offensive" part.... Instead, I went with it.
Let me explain.
Today, I taught in a 2nd grade class where the assignment was to first read a poetry book (the classics: Shel Silverstein, Jack Prelutsky, Bruce Lansky...) and then select a poem and copy it onto a piece of paper.
Boy was I in for a treat! While perusing the books, some of the students found some very interesting pages. I was happy when they were giggling and engaged with the book, and then a little surprised when the pages they found included pictures of BUTTS.
One was a man with his pants down (about how he forgot to put them on this morning). The other was a poem called Spelling Bee about a bee that stung the guy, and he's embarassed to say where he was stung and the last line is "Hello, you've been stung by a bee" and it is stung (little holes) into this guy's butt by a bee.
Now, I had two choices:
1) Make a big deal about it, and not allow them to do that poem, or 2) Go with the flow. The teacher chose these books, and they ARE child appropriate, and they're just butts. Let them read the butt poems.
I chose #2. (hah! #2, butt joke!)
Needless to say, they LOVED it. And a couple of the boys obviously chose one of those poems to write about (and draw).
I told them they couldn't trace (I never allow tracing if I can...teaches them nothing!), and so I found myself giving BUTT DRAWING advice. "Just make a round W down here, and then two rectangles for the legs". Hahaha!
Then I had a kid ask me for another book.
Me: "Why do you want another book? Is it because you want to read poems about rear-ends?"
Kid: "No! We just want to read a BUTT poem!"
And then it was lunchtime.
rantings and such from a substitute teacher
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Friday, March 25, 2011
Books Imma read
Inspired by Melanie's top 100 movies list, I decided to find a list of classic books and attempt to read them all before I die. I've read a lot of classics in the past couple years, and would like to read as many of them as possible, especially those often-referenced books...
The books highlighted in yellow I have already read recently, and the books highlighted in red are the ones I have read but either it was 1) so long ago I don't remember anything, or 2) I had to read it for a class and I skimmed it and didn't fully enjoy it. (Sorry, Dr. Dunn!!)
Also, I have just begun #34 The Sound and The Fury, so it is soon to be checked off! :)
Here's the list:
The books highlighted in yellow I have already read recently, and the books highlighted in red are the ones I have read but either it was 1) so long ago I don't remember anything, or 2) I had to read it for a class and I skimmed it and didn't fully enjoy it. (Sorry, Dr. Dunn!!)
Also, I have just begun #34 The Sound and The Fury, so it is soon to be checked off! :)
Here's the list:
1) The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn (I wanna read again as an adult with a new perspective)
1884, Mark Twain
Moral questions are raised in this touching (and amusing) story about Huck’s adventures
on the Mississippi River with the runaway slave Jim.
Moral questions are raised in this touching (and amusing) story about Huck’s adventures
on the Mississippi River with the runaway slave Jim.
2) All Quiet on the Western Front
1929, Erich Maria Remarque
The tale of a young German sent to fight in the trenches during World War I, this novel
describes the emotional scars of all wars.
The tale of a young German sent to fight in the trenches during World War I, this novel
describes the emotional scars of all wars.
3) Beloved
1987, Toni Morrison
Morrison’s haunting novel follows the story of a woman who escapes from slavery to
freedom in Cincinnati but remains damaged by the murder of her daughter.
Morrison’s haunting novel follows the story of a woman who escapes from slavery to
freedom in Cincinnati but remains damaged by the murder of her daughter.
4) The Best Short Stories
1945, O. Henry
Short stories provide irony and coincidence in everyday life. O. Henry’s signature is
flowing, terse prose and the surprise ending.
Short stories provide irony and coincidence in everyday life. O. Henry’s signature is
flowing, terse prose and the surprise ending.
5) Brave New World (awesome)
1932, Aldous Huxley
A brilliantly written satire of the future in which society is made to be a machine of sorts.
A grim and unforgettable read.
6) The Call of the Wild (good!)
1903, Jack London
Buck, the Husky, flees to the wild, where he becomes the leader of a wolf pack.
Excitement and adventure set in Alaska’s barren wildnerness.
Buck, the Husky, flees to the wild, where he becomes the leader of a wolf pack.
Excitement and adventure set in Alaska’s barren wildnerness.
7) Catch-22
1961, Joseph Heller
This black comedy about World War II Army Air Corps aviators attempting to survive the
absurdities of military bureaucracy has become a part of the American collective
consciousness.
This black comedy about World War II Army Air Corps aviators attempting to survive the
absurdities of military bureaucracy has become a part of the American collective
consciousness.
8) The Catcher in the Rye
1951, J.D. Salinger
Fleeing his Pennsylvania prep school, Holden Caulfield holes up in New York City and
rails against adult phoniness while trying to lose his innocence.
Fleeing his Pennsylvania prep school, Holden Caulfield holes up in New York City and
rails against adult phoniness while trying to lose his innocence.
9) The Complete Sherlock Holmes
1936, Arthur Conan Doyle
The Baker Street saga is chronicled in this collection that includes “A Study in Scarlet,”
the 1887 story that introduced the English detective Sherlock Holmes, and his assistant Dr. Watson
The Baker Street saga is chronicled in this collection that includes “A Study in Scarlet,”
the 1887 story that introduced the English detective Sherlock Holmes, and his assistant Dr. Watson
10) Crime and Punishment
1886, Fyodor Dostoevsky
First published in Russian in 1866, this masterful psychological novel shows the horror
and remorse of Raskolnikoff, a student, after he has killed an old woman for her money.
First published in Russian in 1866, this masterful psychological novel shows the horror
and remorse of Raskolnikoff, a student, after he has killed an old woman for her money.
11) Cry, the Beloved Country
1948, Alan Paton In lyrical language Paton relates the moving story of a Zulu minister who searches for his
children in Johannesburg, only to learn that South African society has destroyed their
lives.
children in Johannesburg, only to learn that South African society has destroyed their
lives.
12) Don Quixote
1612, Miguel de Cervantes
Originally published in Spanish in 1605, Cervantes’ satire about a gentle visionary who
becomes a knight after reading too many chivalric romances is a universal tale of
idealism versus practicality.
Originally published in Spanish in 1605, Cervantes’ satire about a gentle visionary who
becomes a knight after reading too many chivalric romances is a universal tale of
idealism versus practicality.
13) Ethan Frome
1911, Edith Wharton
An unhappy couple attempts suicide but find a far worse fate in this tale of irony and
retribution in rural New England.
An unhappy couple attempts suicide but find a far worse fate in this tale of irony and
retribution in rural New England.
14) Gone with the Wind (Good book and movie! Just watched/read a month ago)
1936, Margaret Mitchell
Set against the backdrop of Georgia during the Civil War, Mitchell’s massive historical
novel chronicles the tempestuous romance of Rhett Butler and Scarlett O’Hara.
Set against the backdrop of Georgia during the Civil War, Mitchell’s massive historical
novel chronicles the tempestuous romance of Rhett Butler and Scarlett O’Hara.
15) The Good Earth (Good book and movie)
1931, Pearl S. Buck
This Pulitzer Prize winner follows Wang Lung’s family from their early struggles to live
off the land to their final disintegration as they move to the city.
This Pulitzer Prize winner follows Wang Lung’s family from their early struggles to live
off the land to their final disintegration as they move to the city.
16) The Grapes of Wrath
1939, John Steinbeck
Proletarian fiction at its finest, Steinbeck’s portrait of an Oklahoma family during the
Depression spurred legislation to help stricken migrant workers.
Proletarian fiction at its finest, Steinbeck’s portrait of an Oklahoma family during the
Depression spurred legislation to help stricken migrant workers.
17) The Great Gatsby (PAINFUL!!!!!!!)
1925, F. Scott Fitzgerald
Jay Gatsby has built an illegal empire to win the love of Daisy Buchanan, but his
sacrifices for her prove to be his downfall.
Jay Gatsby has built an illegal empire to win the love of Daisy Buchanan, but his
sacrifices for her prove to be his downfall.
18) Heart of Darkness (ALSO PAINFUL. TERRIBLE.)
1902, Joseph Conrad
Marlow relates the tale of Mr. Kurtz, successful in his greedy quest for ivory in the
African Congo but leaving in its place hunger, death and slavery, for the natives.
Marlow relates the tale of Mr. Kurtz, successful in his greedy quest for ivory in the
African Congo but leaving in its place hunger, death and slavery, for the natives.
19) Invisible Man
1952, Ralph Ellison
A young African American man moves to New York City and discovers he is “invisible,”
seen only as a racial stereotype and never as himself.
A young African American man moves to New York City and discovers he is “invisible,”
seen only as a racial stereotype and never as himself.
20) Jane Eyre (Pretty awesome. Thanks twin for making me read it!)
1847, Charlotte Bronte
Jane Eyre’s ill-fated love for the brooding Mr. Rochester endures in this story of a strong-
willed heroine who refuses to compromise herself.
Jane Eyre’s ill-fated love for the brooding Mr. Rochester endures in this story of a strong-
willed heroine who refuses to compromise herself.
21) Lord of the Flies
1954, William Golding
A group of English schoolboys, marooned on a tropical island during a time of atomic
warfare, bring both civilization and savagery to their community.
A group of English schoolboys, marooned on a tropical island during a time of atomic
warfare, bring both civilization and savagery to their community.
22) Moby Dick
1851, Herman Melville
Captain Ahab’s obsessive struggle to defeat Moby Dick, the great white whale who
maimed him, is the focus of Melville’s masterpiece.
Captain Ahab’s obsessive struggle to defeat Moby Dick, the great white whale who
maimed him, is the focus of Melville’s masterpiece.
23) My Antonia (All i remember is being bored the whole time. And lots of wheat.)
1918, Willa Cather
In spite of a life of hard work, Bohemian immigrant Antonia Shimerda is sustained by the
healthy Nebraska soil and her warm-hearted brood of children.
In spite of a life of hard work, Bohemian immigrant Antonia Shimerda is sustained by the
healthy Nebraska soil and her warm-hearted brood of children.
24) Native Son
1940, Richard Wright
The accidental death of his white boss’s daughter begins a chain of events from which
Bigger Thomas, a bitter young black man, cannot escape.
The accidental death of his white boss’s daughter begins a chain of events from which
Bigger Thomas, a bitter young black man, cannot escape.
25) Nineteen Eighty Four (Super cool!) 1949, George Orwell Ignorance is strength and peace is war in Orwell’s darkly imaginative vision of a future controlled by Big Brother and the Thought Police.
26) Of Human Bondage1915, W. Somerset Maugham Afflicted with a club foot, Philip Carey suffers through his life, struggling to free himself from a destructive love affair and finally finding contentment as a country doctor.
27) The Old Man and the Sea1952, Ernest Hemingway
Santiago realizes the dream of catching a giant marlin, but he must battle the sharks for
two days to bring his prize home.
Santiago realizes the dream of catching a giant marlin, but he must battle the sharks for
two days to bring his prize home.
28) Pride and Prejudice (I think I will read this one about a dozen more times before I die. At least.)
1813, Jane Austen
A delightful comedy of marriage traces the courtship of Elizabeth and Darcy as they
overcome his pride and her prejudice and fall in love.
29) The Red Badge of Courage (This one was kinda painful is all I remember)1895, Stephen Crane
Through the eyes of Henry Fleming, a young Civil War soldier, we see the fears of battle
and the inexplicable courage that comes when soldiers unite in a wartime machine.
Through the eyes of Henry Fleming, a young Civil War soldier, we see the fears of battle
and the inexplicable courage that comes when soldiers unite in a wartime machine.
30) Robinson Crusoe1719, Daniel Defoe
Defoe’s novel about a castaway marooned for twenty-four years on a deserted island is an
engrossing story of survival, civilization, and barbarism.
Defoe’s novel about a castaway marooned for twenty-four years on a deserted island is an
engrossing story of survival, civilization, and barbarism.
31) The Scarlet Letter (I remember REALLY liking it. But I havent read it since High School and want to re-read it eventually).
1850, Nathaniel Hawthorne
Hawthorne’s novel is a study of sin, guilt, and revenge. Adultress Hester Prynne must
bear public humiliation but Roger Chillingsworth and Arthur Dimmesdale suffer equally.
1850, Nathaniel Hawthorne
Hawthorne’s novel is a study of sin, guilt, and revenge. Adultress Hester Prynne must
bear public humiliation but Roger Chillingsworth and Arthur Dimmesdale suffer equally.
32) A Separate Peace
1959, John Knowles
Fifteen years later, the narrator remembers his boarding school roommate. The rivalry
that tinged their friendship eventually leads to tragedy.
1959, John Knowles
Fifteen years later, the narrator remembers his boarding school roommate. The rivalry
that tinged their friendship eventually leads to tragedy.
33) Silas Marner1861, George Eliot
This classic story shows redemption for a lonely and bitter man in the form of a child
who brings him love and hope.
This classic story shows redemption for a lonely and bitter man in the form of a child
who brings him love and hope.
- The Sound and the Fury1929, William Faulkner
The moral decay of the Old South is presented through the eyes of four members of the
once prominent Compson family of Jackson, Mississippi.
35) The Stranger
1946, Albert Camus
First published in French in 1942, the narrator of Albert Camus’ existential masterpiece is
an autobiographical figure who does not conform to religious morality or social
convention.
First published in French in 1942, the narrator of Albert Camus’ existential masterpiece is
an autobiographical figure who does not conform to religious morality or social
convention.
36) A Tale of Two Cities1859, Charles Dickens
This dramatic story of Paris and London during the Reign of Terror contains some of
Dickens’ most memorable characters—Madame Defarge with her knitting and the self-
sacrificing Sidney Carton.
This dramatic story of Paris and London during the Reign of Terror contains some of
Dickens’ most memorable characters—Madame Defarge with her knitting and the self-
sacrificing Sidney Carton.
37) Tales1952, Edgar Allan Poe
A collection of short stories by the nineteenth century master of the macabre. Included
are “The Murders in the Rue Morgue” and “The Fall of the House of Usher.”
A collection of short stories by the nineteenth century master of the macabre. Included
are “The Murders in the Rue Morgue” and “The Fall of the House of Usher.”
- Tess of the D’Urbervilles1891, Thomas Hardy
Tess is ruined when her father’s vanity forces her to seek the favors of rich relations, and
her life becomes a study in the grim reality of her times.
39) Their Eyes Were Watching God
1937, Zora Neale Hurston
An African-American woman in 1930s rural Florida finds freedom and self-knowledge
through a personal journey encompassing three very different marriages.
An African-American woman in 1930s rural Florida finds freedom and self-knowledge
through a personal journey encompassing three very different marriages.
40) To Kill a Mockingbird (One of the best books ever)1960, Harper Lee
Small town Alabama in the 1930s is the setting for this fine novel of a child’s brutal
introdution to racial prejudice and adult injustice.
Small town Alabama in the 1930s is the setting for this fine novel of a child’s brutal
introdution to racial prejudice and adult injustice.
- Uncle Tom’s Cabin1852, Harriet Beecher Stowe
Stowe’s sentimental but realistic novel is often credited with heightening public
awareness about the evils of slavery, thus hastening the Civil War.
42) War and Peace1889, Leo Tolstoy
An enormous cast of characters brings life to Tolstoy’s panoramic chronicle of
Napoleonic Russia. Originally published in the 1860s
An enormous cast of characters brings life to Tolstoy’s panoramic chronicle of
Napoleonic Russia. Originally published in the 1860s
3) Winesburg, Ohio
1919, Sherwood Anderson
Twenty-three stories of small town America show the characters’ spiritual dreams in
conflict with society’s provincialism and materialism.
44) Wuthering Heights
1847, Emily Bronte
Catherine and Heathcliff are the tempestuous lovers in this tale of passion and revenge on
the Yorkshire moors.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
St Patrick's Day
Today is my favoritest of days.
I'm 3/4 Irish and green is my favorite color. Need I say more?
I'm usually the winner for the amount of green worn on St. Patrick's, and it's always easy for me because my wardrobe contains A LOT of green.
Once, sophomore year in High School, I got in a Who's-Wearing-The-Most-Green contest with a fellow St.Patty's Enthusiast. I won because he was a guy, and I can wear more articles of clothing. :P
Corned beef and cabbage is pretty great. I remember Grandma cooking it when I was younger and being afraid to eat it. Now I love it, and Jeremiah is afraid to eat it. :)
Aside from the green loving and shamrock toting, St. Patrick's day always gives me cause to reflect on my family.
I would love to go to Ireland someday and see what it is like. Meet the people. I watched a movie Tuesday (Once) that was about an Irish singer, and I feel like I would fit in there pretty well.
I also start wondering about my dad and his side of the family. I met him once when I was seven and remember nothing. They are Irish. I wonder what it would be like if things were different, if I had known any of them. I'm super happy with my life, and don't have those "daddy issues", but sometimes I just wonder about the other half of my chromosomes.
Anyways, happy St. Patrick's Day everyone! And thanks for everyone who wore green ;)
I'm 3/4 Irish and green is my favorite color. Need I say more?
I'm usually the winner for the amount of green worn on St. Patrick's, and it's always easy for me because my wardrobe contains A LOT of green.
Once, sophomore year in High School, I got in a Who's-Wearing-The-Most-Green contest with a fellow St.Patty's Enthusiast. I won because he was a guy, and I can wear more articles of clothing. :P
Corned beef and cabbage is pretty great. I remember Grandma cooking it when I was younger and being afraid to eat it. Now I love it, and Jeremiah is afraid to eat it. :)
Aside from the green loving and shamrock toting, St. Patrick's day always gives me cause to reflect on my family.
I would love to go to Ireland someday and see what it is like. Meet the people. I watched a movie Tuesday (Once) that was about an Irish singer, and I feel like I would fit in there pretty well.
I also start wondering about my dad and his side of the family. I met him once when I was seven and remember nothing. They are Irish. I wonder what it would be like if things were different, if I had known any of them. I'm super happy with my life, and don't have those "daddy issues", but sometimes I just wonder about the other half of my chromosomes.
Anyways, happy St. Patrick's Day everyone! And thanks for everyone who wore green ;)
Friday, March 4, 2011
Fundraisers!
Sometimes, I wish I was more like the person who comes to get the kids excited about selling candy for their school. Every time I go to one of those assemblies, the kids are SO PUMPED. Maybe I should start saying "If you can do 100 multiplication problems, you will win this REALLY COOL PRIZE!!!!!!! And if you complete 150, you will get this REALLY COOL PRIZE!!! and this EVEN COOLER PRIZE!!!"
Maybe that would help on those super slow days where nobody wants to do math.
Seriously, most kids from kindergarten to junior high love theses assemblies and end up super pumped. They want to sell ALL THEIR THINGS to EVERY PERSON. So, inevitably, right after the assembly, most teachers are barraged by a bombardment of students trying to sell all their things.
Here is a funny story that happened today to my husband (3rd grade teacher) after the assembly:
(In the office)
Student to Office Lady: Will you buy some stuff from me?
Office Lady: Sorry, I will be buying from my grandkids.
Student to Mr. A (my husband): DO YOU HAVE GRANDKIDS???
Mr. A.: (very confused, being only 28 years old...) Um, no...
Student: BUY ALL THE THINGS FROM ME!!!!!*
*paraphrased
Hahaha. Apparently my husband looks old enough to be a grandpa! Love it!!!
Also, speaking of Fundraisers, I finally got my girl scout cookies. and they are gooooooood. We have a "dealer" that comes to my husband's class every year, so we don't have to go searching them down in shady alleyways when we get a "craving" :)
Maybe that would help on those super slow days where nobody wants to do math.
Seriously, most kids from kindergarten to junior high love theses assemblies and end up super pumped. They want to sell ALL THEIR THINGS to EVERY PERSON. So, inevitably, right after the assembly, most teachers are barraged by a bombardment of students trying to sell all their things.
Here is a funny story that happened today to my husband (3rd grade teacher) after the assembly:
(In the office)
Student to Office Lady: Will you buy some stuff from me?
Office Lady: Sorry, I will be buying from my grandkids.
Student to Mr. A (my husband): DO YOU HAVE GRANDKIDS???
Mr. A.: (very confused, being only 28 years old...) Um, no...
Student: BUY ALL THE THINGS FROM ME!!!!!*
*paraphrased
Hahaha. Apparently my husband looks old enough to be a grandpa! Love it!!!
Also, speaking of Fundraisers, I finally got my girl scout cookies. and they are gooooooood. We have a "dealer" that comes to my husband's class every year, so we don't have to go searching them down in shady alleyways when we get a "craving" :)
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