Having a Baby is Like Playing Minecraft.

Super Graphics!!!!!! 

Those of you that know me know that I'm a huge nerd. And husband and I love playing games. One of our favorite games is Minecraft. Ever heard of it? If you have $20 and want something fun (and not complicated) to do on your computer, you should download Minecraft.

Essentially, it's a "sandbox" game...meaning it's like you're playing in a sandbox. You can build whatever you want out of the materials around you.  

A nice house built from scratch.

Want to build a castle out of glass? Want to have a tower that goes all the way up to the clouds? And underwater lair? 


The possibilities are limitless. Kinda like having a baby. 

You imagine all the things you can build into your new creation. You can make her have a great vocabulary. You can foster a sense of humor that would make Seinfeld look like the clear eyes guy. (You know, the teacher on Ferris Bueller. "Bueller...Bueller...")  


You will teach her math and her ABC's so she aces kindergarten (if it still exists in 5 years). Maybe you'll teach her how to shoot baskets so that in 20 years she is supporting you with her pro-basketball career.

Then you actually have the baby. And you take her home. This would be the first "night" in Minecraft.

In Minecraft, here is how the game goes. Yes, you can build whatever you want. Yes, the possibilities are endless...BUT.

"OH HI!!! I will explode and destroy everything around me!"

But you start out in the middle of an unexplored wilderness. Just you and your bare hands. You have to take down a tree with your bare hands to build an axe and shovel and then you use those tools to get more things to build a makeshift shelter. You have to do this quickly because before you know it, it will be night. (In the real world, this is like your first day home with baby).

Nighttime is when all the monsters come out. They try to kill you. Some of them will come right up to you and explode on you. Others will just hide in the trees and shoot you with arrows. If you didn't build your shelter quickly enough you will die. A bunch.

When we first brought Emerald home, it was just like that. Survival mode. I didn't sleep for the first two days, except when I would pass out while feeding her for a few minutes. I was constantly checking for monsters: does she have a temperature? is she too cold? is she breathing alright? is she eating enough? why doesn't she have enough wet diapers? (oh boy, i regret worrying about this one...SO MANY DIAPERS now!) why is she crying? 

"WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?? FIX IT FIX IT FIX IT!!!!!"

AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

It's very frightening, and you pray for "daylight" when the monsters go away and you can breathe again. And focus on building your masterpiece in peace. For me, the daylight came about two? weeks later. We had a lot of sleepless nights full of monsters. Some nights she would just cry for HOURS. Why? I still don't know. Some nights I would spend 45 minutes feeding her, she would sleep for 15-30 mins, then wake up to repeat the 45 minute process again.


 ALL NIGHT. 

This is a very frightening sight.

Your boobs feel like they've been shot with arrows. Your head feels like it has been exploded.


People tell you about those "sleepless nights" but it's way different living them. You are fighting a dozen monsters every night.

But eventually, the day does come, and you can enjoy your baby. You can start building the best person you can. You start finding those rare "diamonds". How she smiles when you smile. How she loves to kick her feet.  How she likes to pause in the middle of eating just to look up and smile at you. How she can consciously grab a toy and actually hold onto it. All those amazing things that make being a parent worth it.

My little Emerald

If you can just survive the night.