Summer Cleaning

It's summertime! As a teacher I finally have the time that I didn't during the school year...


Thus, "spring" cleaning becomes "summer" cleaning. This year it is compounded by a little psychotic episode people like to cute-ify by calling it "nesting".

So anyways, here I am at 11:00 at night pulling EVERYTHING off the shelves, going through all my clothes (I've gotten rid of 5 garbage bags full of clothes so far!) and organizing the HELL out of everything. I like organizing things, and giving everything a nice place and I like the idea of putting things into that nice place. 


However, I am also very very lazy, so usually what happens is I KNOW where things go, I just don't care.


Yes, this lovely shirt belongs on a hanger in my closet, but the living room floor is just so much closer.

Yes, this book has a spot right on the bookshelf when I finish reading it, but this stack of read books on the bedside table is getting impressively tall. I think I'll just add to the Jenga book tower.

So you see, with my laziness it is a never-ending battle. But the thing that is different this year is the SUPER-organizing part. I'm going through boxes of papers that I have had since high school. Books that I got for free years ago and never read and never intend to read. I inherited hoarding from my grandma (she has about 50 packages of jello in her pantry, and had about 5 black garbage bags full of those empty cookie tins you get at Christmastime), and my mother (not quite as bad, but still her voice nags me in my head whenever I think about throwing stuff away... "YOU CAN STILL USE THIS JOSIE!!!"). Not only must I battle the laziness, I must also battle the packratiness.

I ended up throwing a lot of stuff away, and giving away more stuff. I decided to keep some of my "memories" from school, particularly high school and community college. Aside from a bunch of inappropriate drawings done during extremely boring math classes, I also had some funny (maybe just to me) notes and comics.

Next time I will share something from community college. I started writing down funny quotes people would say...so if you went to GHC with me, you might be featured in my posting! 




Now for some coffee.

Hearing Test....or Brainwashing Session?

 Yesterday I had a hearing test.


 For those of you who don't know, I've had lots and lots of troubles with my ears ever since childhood...3 ear tube surgeries, countless infections, bad hearing (I was even in Speech as a child because of it), and this last July I had a hole in my eardrum fixed. Luckily it was the summer, so I could recover in peace and not worry about work, etc. I pretty much just drank juice and lay on the couch during that time. Also it was about a million degrees and we don't have AC, so it was pretty hard to move.
The day after I took some pictures of my awesome ear bandage:

Then Jeremiah took a picture of my ear once I could take off the bandage. (Warning don't look at if you don't like to see Van-Goghish representations of ears...)

So anyways, before I had the surgery I had a hearing test and it basically showed that I had mild hearing loss in my right ear and moderate hearing loss in my left ear (surgery ear). 


The main purpose of the surgery was to close the hole so water and bacteria couldn't get trapped in there causing infection, but there was a chance that my hearing in that ear could improve.
 So I had to take a second hearing test to see if it did indeed get better.  


 Both hearing tests were very similar in brainwashyness and creepiness and I will lead you through the modern-day hearing tests.


Remember in Elementary school when you took the hearing tests each year? They put the giant headphones on you and played some beeps and you were supposed to raise your hand whenever you heard a beep? Yes, those were the salad days of hearing tests.

Here is what happens in the


Now, after the seemingly normal questions from the "doctor" in a normal doctor's office, you are led into a creepy government interrogation room with poor lighting and "sound proof" so that they can't hear your screams when the interrogation gets more...vigorous. The walls are the color of sad vomit. The kind where its mostly bile.

The secret government ag---DOCTOR then places these things way inside your ears reminiscent of those "ear shells" from Fahrenheit 451. You know, the ones that feed you the government propaganda and keep you placated. 


Then she shuts the outside door and the inside door (yes, double doors...which they claim is for sound proofing, but I know it is just to keep you locked in easily) and goes behind the one-way mirror. (Actually it's just a window, but since my chair is facing away from it and she can see me but I can't see her, it might as well be a one-way mirror).


The first part is fairly normal. Low-pitched beeps and high-pitched beeps and I press the button on the little controller when I hear something (a little better than elementary school, because at least my arm doesn't get tired).
Although, after a while of listening to beeps, my mind starts to go a little crazy. I start worrying if I missed a beep just now, or maybe it is just ringing in my ear? was THAT a beep? or did I imagine it? I tried to click for all the beeps, imaginary or not...but I think I went a little crazy in there.


Then the SUPER CREEPY part starts.


She says words in my "ear shells" and I'm supposed to repeat them.They start out innocently enough, but is a bit uncomfortable saying random words in succession. Then the words start to get....disturbing.


Oatmeal.
Railroad.
Cowboy.
Kill.
Baseball.
Hurt.
Railroad.
Cowboy.
Knife.
(and then the rest is gibberish which I'm sure my brain picked up subconsciously just as they intended.)


No joke.




They actually made me repeat those words.



Several times.








And then it's over, and the "doctor" comes in and says I can wait in this room or across the hall in her office while she prints up the results. I try not to run as I dash out of the creepy room into the florescent lighting and safety of the normal office.




I'm pretty sure I'm now a sleeper agent for the US Government. If I disappear, tell the world my story.




Unrelated: Here is an old photo I found of my Great Uncle Gatsby nursing a war injury after WWI. See the family resemblance?

Oh? and the good news! My left ear passed the hearing test!!! My right ear is still the same (mild hearing loss--especially low sounds) but my left is is in the "normal range" of hearing all across the board. It went from moderate hearing loss to normal! :)  (To summarize: Right ear---D+,  Left ear: B+).

Cats on a bed

I love cats.


If Jeremiah ever dies, I will definitely become a cat lady. Jeremiah has forbidden me to have more than two at the moment, so I must make due.


I love cats so much that when I was little I would sleep in the cat's box (not to be confused with the litterbox!). I would ride my bike with my favorite cat, Skutterbotch, on my back.


I even let them sleep on my side of the bed. If one of them is on there when I go to bed, I just push her aside. Sometimes I will wake up and there is a cat sleeping next to me. It is adorable. Most days they don't sleep at the same time as me, though...except last night.

I woke up at about 6am to go to the bathroom and not one, but BOTH cats decided to flank me in my sleep. Not only did they sleep next to me, they also made themselves as LONG as possible. When I awoke, I was on my side with about an inch or less clearance on either side. Meanwhile, each cat was taking up more room than I was! 


Allow me to illustrate:

Not only did they invade my sleeping space, they also managed to take up as much space as possible. Had they lain parallel there would be no problem, but instead I was squished on the bed while everyone else had the most space in the world!


I guess I should train my kitties to sleep parallel next time, or at least in those cute little curly ball shapes.






On a separate note...SPRING BREAK!!!!! woo!!!!

Drawing butts

Sometimes when you teach, you have to have a sense of humor. Okay, most of the time you do, or else you would probably go insane.


Today was a very funny day. Now, I might have had an extremely rough day if I had decided to be like those book burners that get rid of books just because there is an "offensive" part.... Instead, I went with it.


Let me explain.




Today, I taught in a 2nd grade class where the assignment was to first read a poetry book (the classics: Shel Silverstein, Jack Prelutsky, Bruce Lansky...) and then select a poem and copy it onto a  piece of paper.

Boy was I in for a treat! While perusing the books, some of the students found some very interesting pages. I was happy when they were giggling and engaged with the book, and then a little surprised when the pages they found included pictures of BUTTS.

One was a man with his pants down (about how he forgot to put them on this morning).  The other was a poem called Spelling Bee about a bee that stung the guy, and he's embarassed to say where he was stung and the last line is "Hello, you've been stung by a bee" and it is stung (little holes) into this guy's butt by a bee. 


Now, I had two choices: 
1) Make a big deal about it, and not allow them to do that poem, or 2) Go with the flow. The teacher chose these books, and they ARE child appropriate, and they're just butts. Let them read the butt poems.


I chose #2. (hah! #2, butt joke!)


Needless to say, they LOVED it. And a couple of the boys obviously chose one of those poems to write about (and draw). 


I told them they couldn't trace (I never allow tracing if I can...teaches them nothing!), and so I found myself giving BUTT DRAWING advice. "Just make a round W down here, and then two rectangles for the legs". Hahaha!

Then I had a kid ask me for another book.
Me: "Why do you want another book? Is it because you want to read poems about rear-ends?"
Kid: "No! We just want to read a BUTT poem!"




And then it was lunchtime.

Books Imma read

Inspired by Melanie's top 100 movies list, I decided to find a list of classic books and attempt to read them all before I die. I've read a lot of classics in the past couple years, and would like to read as many of them as possible, especially those often-referenced books...

The books highlighted in yellow I have already read recently, and the books highlighted in red are the ones I have read but either it was 1) so long ago I don't remember anything, or 2) I had to read it for a class and I skimmed it and didn't fully enjoy it. (Sorry, Dr. Dunn!!)


Also, I have just begun #34 The Sound and The Fury, so it is soon to be checked off! :)


Here's the list: 

1) The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn (I wanna read again as an adult with a new perspective)

1884, Mark Twain
Moral questions are raised in this touching (and amusing) story about Huck’s adventures
on the Mississippi River with the runaway slave Jim.

2) All Quiet on the Western Front

1929, Erich Maria Remarque
The tale of a young German sent to fight in the trenches during World War I, this novel
describes the emotional scars of all wars.

3) Beloved

1987, Toni Morrison
Morrison’s haunting novel follows the story of a woman who escapes from slavery to
freedom in Cincinnati but remains damaged by the murder of her daughter.

4) The Best Short Stories

1945, O. Henry
Short stories provide irony and coincidence in everyday life. O. Henry’s signature is
flowing, terse prose and the surprise ending.

5) Brave New World (awesome)

1932, Aldous Huxley

A brilliantly written satire of the future in which society is made to be a machine of sorts.

A grim and unforgettable read.

6) The Call of the Wild (good!)

1903, Jack London
Buck, the Husky, flees to the wild, where he becomes the leader of a wolf pack.
Excitement and adventure set in Alaska’s barren wildnerness.

7) Catch-22

1961, Joseph Heller
This black comedy about World War II Army Air Corps aviators attempting to survive the
absurdities of military bureaucracy has become a part of the American collective
consciousness.

8) The Catcher in the Rye

1951, J.D. Salinger
Fleeing his Pennsylvania prep school, Holden Caulfield holes up in New York City and
rails against adult phoniness while trying to lose his innocence.

9) The Complete Sherlock Holmes

1936, Arthur Conan Doyle
The Baker Street saga is chronicled in this collection that includes “A Study in Scarlet,”
the 1887 story that introduced the English detective Sherlock Holmes, and his assistant Dr. Watson

10) Crime and Punishment

1886, Fyodor Dostoevsky
First published in Russian in 1866, this masterful psychological novel shows the horror
and remorse of Raskolnikoff, a student, after he has killed an old woman for her money.

11) Cry, the Beloved Country

1948, Alan Paton In lyrical language Paton relates the moving story of a Zulu minister who searches for his
children in Johannesburg, only to learn that South African society has destroyed their
lives.

12) Don Quixote

1612, Miguel de Cervantes
Originally published in Spanish in 1605, Cervantes’ satire about a gentle visionary who
becomes a knight after reading too many chivalric romances is a universal tale of
idealism versus practicality.

13) Ethan Frome

1911, Edith Wharton
An unhappy couple attempts suicide but find a far worse fate in this tale of irony and
retribution in rural New England.

14) Gone with the Wind (Good book and movie! Just watched/read a month ago)

1936, Margaret Mitchell
Set against the backdrop of Georgia during the Civil War, Mitchell’s massive historical
novel chronicles the tempestuous romance of Rhett Butler and Scarlett O’Hara.

15) The Good Earth (Good book and movie)

1931, Pearl S. Buck
This Pulitzer Prize winner follows Wang Lung’s family from their early struggles to live
off the land to their final disintegration as they move to the city.

16) The Grapes of Wrath

1939, John Steinbeck
Proletarian fiction at its finest, Steinbeck’s portrait of an Oklahoma family during the
Depression spurred legislation to help stricken migrant workers.

17) The Great Gatsby (PAINFUL!!!!!!!)

1925, F. Scott Fitzgerald
Jay Gatsby has built an illegal empire to win the love of Daisy Buchanan, but his
sacrifices for her prove to be his downfall.

18) Heart of Darkness (ALSO PAINFUL. TERRIBLE.)

1902, Joseph Conrad
Marlow relates the tale of Mr. Kurtz, successful in his greedy quest for ivory in the
African Congo but leaving in its place hunger, death and slavery, for the natives.

19) Invisible Man

1952, Ralph Ellison
A young African American man moves to New York City and discovers he is “invisible,”
seen only as a racial stereotype and never as himself.

20) Jane Eyre (Pretty awesome. Thanks twin for making me read it!)

1847, Charlotte Bronte
Jane Eyre’s ill-fated love for the brooding Mr. Rochester endures in this story of a strong-
willed heroine who refuses to compromise herself.

21) Lord of the Flies

1954, William Golding
A group of English schoolboys, marooned on a tropical island during a time of atomic
warfare, bring both civilization and savagery to their community.

22) Moby Dick

1851, Herman Melville
Captain Ahab’s obsessive struggle to defeat Moby Dick, the great white whale who
maimed him, is the focus of Melville’s masterpiece.

23) My Antonia (All i remember is being bored the whole time. And lots of wheat.)

1918, Willa Cather
In spite of a life of hard work, Bohemian immigrant Antonia Shimerda is sustained by the
healthy Nebraska soil and her warm-hearted brood of children.

24) Native Son

1940, Richard Wright
The accidental death of his white boss’s daughter begins a chain of events from which
Bigger Thomas, a bitter young black man, cannot escape.

25) Nineteen Eighty Four (Super cool!) 1949, George Orwell Ignorance is strength and peace is war in Orwell’s darkly imaginative vision of a future controlled by Big Brother and the Thought Police.
26) Of Human Bondage1915, W. Somerset Maugham Afflicted with a club foot, Philip Carey suffers through his life, struggling to free himself from a destructive love affair and finally finding contentment as a country doctor.

27) The Old Man and the Sea1952, Ernest Hemingway
Santiago realizes the dream of catching a giant marlin, but he must battle the sharks for
two days to bring his prize home.

28) Pride and Prejudice (I think I will read this one about a dozen more times before I die. At least.)

1813, Jane Austen

A delightful comedy of marriage traces the courtship of Elizabeth and Darcy as they

overcome his pride and her prejudice and fall in love.

29) The Red Badge of Courage (This one was kinda painful is all I remember)1895, Stephen Crane
Through the eyes of Henry Fleming, a young Civil War soldier, we see the fears of battle
and the inexplicable courage that comes when soldiers unite in a wartime machine.

30) Robinson Crusoe1719, Daniel Defoe
Defoe’s novel about a castaway marooned for twenty-four years on a deserted island is an
engrossing story of survival, civilization, and barbarism.

31) The Scarlet Letter (I remember REALLY liking it. But I havent read it since High School and want to re-read it eventually).
1850, Nathaniel Hawthorne
Hawthorne’s novel is a study of sin, guilt, and revenge. Adultress Hester Prynne must
bear public humiliation but Roger Chillingsworth and Arthur Dimmesdale suffer equally.

32) A Separate Peace
1959, John Knowles
Fifteen years later, the narrator remembers his boarding school roommate. The rivalry
that tinged their friendship eventually leads to tragedy.

33) Silas Marner1861, George Eliot
This classic story shows redemption for a lonely and bitter man in the form of a child
who brings him love and hope.

34. The Sound and the Fury1929, William Faulkner
    The moral decay of the Old South is presented through the eyes of four members of the
    once prominent Compson family of Jackson, Mississippi.

35) The Stranger

1946, Albert Camus
First published in French in 1942, the narrator of Albert Camus’ existential masterpiece is
an autobiographical figure who does not conform to religious morality or social
convention.

36) A Tale of Two Cities1859, Charles Dickens
This dramatic story of Paris and London during the Reign of Terror contains some of
Dickens’ most memorable characters—Madame Defarge with her knitting and the self-
sacrificing Sidney Carton.

37) Tales1952, Edgar Allan Poe
A collection of short stories by the nineteenth century master of the macabre. Included
are “The Murders in the Rue Morgue” and “The Fall of the House of Usher.”

38. Tess of the D’Urbervilles1891, Thomas Hardy
    Tess is ruined when her father’s vanity forces her to seek the favors of rich relations, and
    her life becomes a study in the grim reality of her times.

39) Their Eyes Were Watching God

1937, Zora Neale Hurston
An African-American woman in 1930s rural Florida finds freedom and self-knowledge
through a personal journey encompassing three very different marriages.

40) To Kill a Mockingbird (One of the best books ever)1960, Harper Lee
Small town Alabama in the 1930s is the setting for this fine novel of a child’s brutal
introdution to racial prejudice and adult injustice.

41. Uncle Tom’s Cabin1852, Harriet Beecher Stowe
    Stowe’s sentimental but realistic novel is often credited with heightening public
    awareness about the evils of slavery, thus hastening the Civil War.

42) War and Peace1889, Leo Tolstoy
An enormous cast of characters brings life to Tolstoy’s panoramic chronicle of
Napoleonic Russia. Originally published in the 1860s

3) Winesburg, Ohio

1919, Sherwood Anderson

Twenty-three stories of small town America show the characters’ spiritual dreams in

conflict with society’s provincialism and materialism.

44) Wuthering Heights

1847, Emily Bronte

Catherine and Heathcliff are the tempestuous lovers in this tale of passion and revenge on

the Yorkshire moors.

St Patrick's Day

Today is my favoritest of days.

I'm 3/4 Irish and green is my favorite color. Need I say more?


I'm usually the winner for the amount of green worn on St. Patrick's, and it's always easy for me because my wardrobe contains A LOT of green.

Once, sophomore year in High School, I got in a Who's-Wearing-The-Most-Green contest with a fellow St.Patty's Enthusiast.  I won because he was a guy, and I can wear more articles of clothing. :P


Corned beef and cabbage is pretty great. I remember Grandma cooking it when I was younger and being afraid to eat it. Now I love it, and Jeremiah is afraid to eat it. :)

Aside from the green loving and shamrock toting, St. Patrick's day always gives me cause to reflect on my family.

I would love to go to Ireland someday and see what it is like. Meet the people. I watched a movie Tuesday (Once) that was about an Irish singer, and I feel like I would fit in there pretty well.



I also start wondering about my dad and his side of the family. I met him once when I was seven and remember nothing. They are Irish. I wonder what it would be like if things were different, if I had known any of them. I'm super happy with my life, and don't have those "daddy issues", but sometimes I just wonder about the other half of my chromosomes. 




Anyways, happy St. Patrick's Day everyone! And thanks for everyone who wore green ;)

Fundraisers!

Sometimes, I wish I was more like the person who comes to get the kids excited about selling candy for their school. Every time I go to one of those assemblies, the kids are SO PUMPED. Maybe I should start saying "If you can do 100 multiplication problems, you will win this REALLY COOL PRIZE!!!!!!! And if you complete 150, you will get this REALLY COOL PRIZE!!! and this EVEN COOLER PRIZE!!!" 


Maybe that would help on those super slow days where nobody wants to do math.

Seriously, most kids from kindergarten to junior high love theses assemblies and end up super pumped. They want to sell ALL THEIR THINGS to EVERY PERSON. So, inevitably, right after the assembly, most teachers are barraged by a bombardment of students trying to sell all their things.

Here is a funny story that happened today to my husband (3rd grade teacher) after the assembly:


(In the office)
Student to Office Lady: Will you buy some stuff from me?
Office Lady: Sorry, I will be buying from my grandkids.
Student to Mr. A (my husband): DO YOU HAVE GRANDKIDS???
Mr. A.: (very confused, being only 28 years old...) Um, no...
Student: BUY ALL THE THINGS FROM ME!!!!!*


*paraphrased


Hahaha. Apparently my husband looks old enough to be a grandpa! Love it!!!


Also, speaking of Fundraisers, I finally got my girl scout cookies. and they are gooooooood. We have a "dealer" that comes to my husband's class every year, so we don't have to go searching them down in shady alleyways when we get a "craving" :)